Chapter 11
Soon the entire party was gathered on the road ofyellow bricks, quite beyond the reach of thebeautiful but treacherous plants. The Shaggy Man,staring first at one and then at the other, seemedgreatly pleased and interested.
"I've seen queer things since I came to the Landof Oz," said he, "but never anything queerer thanthis band of adventurers. Let us sit down a while,and have a talk and get acquainted."
"Haven't you always lived in the Land of Oz?"asked the Munchkin boy.
"No; I used to live in the big, outside world.But I came here once with Dorothy, and Ozmalet me stay."
"How do you like Oz?" asked Scraps. "Isn'tthe country and the climate grand?"
"It's the finest country in all the world, evenif it is a fairyland. and I'm happy every minute Ilive in it," said the Shaggy Man. "But tell mesomething about yourselves."
So Ojo related the story of his visit to thehouse of the Crooked Magician, and how he metthere the Class Cat, and how the Patchwork Girlwas brought to life and of the terrible accidentto Unc Nunkie and Margdotte. Then he told how hehad set out to find the five different thingswhich the Magician needed to make a charm thatwould restore the marble figures to life, onerequirement being three hairs from a Woozy's tail.
"We found the Woozy," explained the boy,"and he agreed to give us the three hairs; butwe couldn't pull them out. So we had to bringthe Woozy along with us."
"I see," returned the Shaggy Man, who hadlistened with interest to the story. "But perhapsI, who am big and strong, can pull those threehairs from the Woozy's tail."
"Try it, if you like," said the Woozy.
So the Shaggy Man tried it, but pull as hardas he could he failed to get the hairs out of theWoozy's tail. So he sat down again and wipedhis shaggy face with a shaggy silk handkerchiefand said:
"It doesn't matter. If you can keep the Woozyuntil you get the rest of the things you need,you can take the beast and his three hairs tothe Crooked Magician and let him find a wayto extract 'em. What are the other things you areto find?"
"One," said Ojo, "is a six-leaved clover."
"You ought to find that in the fields aroundthe Emerald City," said the Shaggy Man."There is a Law against picking six-leavedclovers, but I think I can get Ozma to let youhave one."
"Thank you," replied Ojo. "The next thingis the left wing of a yellow butterfly."
"For that you must go to the Winkle Country,"the Shaggy Man declared. "I've never noticed anybutterflies there, but that is the yellow countryof Oz and it's ruled, by a good friend of mine,the Tin Woodman."
"Oh, I've heard of him!" exclaimed Ojo. "Hemust be a wonderful man."
"So he is, and his heart is wonderfully kind.I'm sure the Tin Woodman will do all in hispower to help you to save your Unc Nunkieand poor Margolotte."
"The next thing I must find," said theMunchkin boy, "is a gill of water from a darkwell."
"Indeed! Well, that is more difficult," saidthe Shaggy Man, scratching his left ear in apuzzled way. "I've never heard of a dark well;have you?"
"No," said Ojo.
"Do you know where one may be found?" inquiredthe Shaggy Man.
"I can't imagine," said Ojo.
"Then we must ask the Scarecrow."
"The Scarecrow! But surely, sir, a scarecrowcan't know anything."
"Most scarecrows don't, I admit," answeredthe Shaggy Man. "But this Scarecrow of whomI speak is very intelligent. He claims to possessthe best brains in all Oz."
"Better than mine?" asked Scraps.
"Better than mine?" echoed the Glass Cat."Mine are pink, and you can see 'em work."
"Well, you can't see the Scarecrow's brainswork, but they do a lot of clever thinking,"asserted the Shaggy Man. "If anyone knows where adark well is, it's my friend the Scarecrow."
"Where does he live?" inquired Ojo.
"He has a splendid castle in the WinkleCountry, near to the palace of his friend theTin Woodman, and he is often to be found inthe Emerald City, where he visits Dorothy atthe royal palace."
"Then we will ask him about the dark well,"said Ojo.
"But what else does this Crooked Magicianwant?" asked the Shaggy Man.
"A drop of oil from a live man's body."
"Oh; but there isn't such a thing."
"That is what I thought," replied Ojo; "butthe Crooked Magician said it wouldn't be calledfor by the recipe if it couldn't be found, andtherefore I must search until I find it."
"I wish you good luck," said the Shaggy Man,shaking his head doubtfully; "but I imagineyou'll have a hard job getting a drop of oil froma live man's body. There's blood in a body, butno oil."
"There's cotton in mine," said Scraps, dancinga little jig.
"I don't doubt it," returned the Shaggy Manadmiringly. "You're a regular comforter and assweet as patchwork can be. All you lack isdignity."
"I hate dignity," cried Scraps, kicking a pebblehigh in the air and then trying to catch it as itfell. "Half the fools and all the wise folks aredignified, and I'm neither the one nor the other."
"She's just crazy," explained the Glass Cat.
The Shaggy Man laughed.
"She's delightful, in her way," he said. "I'msure Dorothy will be pleased with her, and theScarecrow will dote on her. Did you say youwere traveling toward the Emerald City?"
"Yes," replied Ojo. "I thought that the bestplace to go, at first, because the six-leaved clovermay be found there."
"I'll go with you," said the Shaggy Man, "andshow you the way."
"Thank you," exclaimed Ojo. "I hope it won'tput you out any."
"No," said the other, "I wasn't going anywherein particular. I've been a rover all my life, andalthough Ozma has given me a suite of beautifulrooms in her palace I still get the wanderingfever once in a while and start out to roam thecountry over. I've been away from the Emerald Cityseveral weeks, this time, and now that I've metyou and your friends I'm sure it will interest meto accompany you to the great city of Oz andintroduce you to my friends."
"That will be very nice," said the boy,gratefully.
"I hope your friends are not dignified,"observed Scraps.
"Some are, and some are not," he answered;"but I never criticise my friends. If they arereally true friends; they may be anything theylike, for all of me."
"There's some sense in that," said Scraps,nodding her queer head in approval. "Come on, andlet's get to the Emerald City as soon aspossible." With this she ran up the path, skippingand dancing, and then turned to await them.
"It is quite a distance from here to the EmeraldCity," remarked the Shaggy Man, "so we shall notget there to-day, nor to-morrow. Therefore let ustake the jaunt in an easy manner. I'm an oldtraveler and have found that I never gain anythingby being in a hurry. 'Take it easy' is my motto.If you can't take it easy, take it as easy as youcan."
After walking some distance over the road ofyellow bricks Ojo said he was hungry and wouldstop to eat some bread and cheese. He offered aportion of the food to the Shaggy Man, who thankedhim but refused it.
"When I start out on my travels," said he,"I carry along enough square meals to last meseveral weeks. Think I'll indulge in one now,as long as we're stopping anyway."
Saying this, he took a bottle from his pocketand shook from it a tablet about the size of oneof Ojo's finger-nails.
"That," announced the Shaggy Man, "is a squaremeal, in condensed form. Invention of the greatProfessor Woggle-Bug, of the Royal College ofAthletics. It contains soup, fish, roast meat,salad, apple-dumplings, ice cream and chocolate-drops, all boiled down to this small size, so itcan be conveniently carried and swallowed when youare hungry and need a square meal."
"I'm square," said the Woozy. "Give me one,please."
So the Shaggy Man gave the Woozy a tablet fromhis bottle and the beast ate it in a twinkling.
"You have now had a six course dinner,"declared the Shaggy Man.
"Pshaw!" said the Woozy, ungratefully, "Iwant to taste something. There's no fun in thatsort of eating."
"One should only eat to sustain life," repliedthe Shaggy Man, "and that tablet is equal to apeck of other food."
"I don't care for it. I want something I canchew and taste," grumbled the Woozy.
"You are quite wrong, my poor beast," saidthe Shaggy Man in a tone of pity. "Think howtired your jaws would get chewing a squaremeal like this, if it were not condensed to thesize of a small tablet--which you can swallowin a jiffy."
"Chewing isn't tiresome; it's fun, maintainedthe Woozy. "I always chew the honey-bees when Icatch them. Give me some bread and cheese, Ojo."
"No, no! You've already eaten a big dinner!"protested the Shaggy Man.
"May be," answered the Woozy; "but I guessI'll fool myself by munching some bread andcheese. I may not be hungry, having eaten allthose things you gave me, but I consider thiseating business a matter of taste, and I like torealize what's going into me."
Ojo gave the beast what he wanted, but theShaggy Man shook his shaggy head reproachfully andsaid there was no animal so obstinate or hard toconvince as a Woozy.
At this moment a patter of footsteps was heard,and looking up they saw the live phonographstanding before them. It seemed to have passedthrough many adventures since Ojo and his comradeslast saw the machine, for the varnish of itswooden case was all marred and dented andscratched in a way that gave it an aged anddisreputable appearance.
"Dear me!" exclaimed Ojo, staring hard."What has happened to you?"
"Nothing much," replied the phonograph ina sad and depressed voice. "I've had enoughthings thrown at me, since I left you, to stocka department store and furnish half a dozenbargain-counters."
"Are you so broken up that you can't play?"asked Scraps.
"No; I still am able to grind out deliciousmusic. Just now I've a record on tap that isreally superb," said the phonograph, growing morecheerful.
"That is too bad," remarked Ojo. "We've noobjection to you as a machine, you know; butas a music-maker we hate you."
"Then why was I ever invented?" demandedthe machine, in a tone of indignant protest.
They looked at one another inquiringly, butno one could answer such a puzzling question.Finally the Shaggy Man said:
"I'd like to hear the phonograph play."
Ojo sighed. "We've been very happy since wemet you, sir," he said.
"I know. But a little misery, at times, makesone appreciate happiness more. Tell me, Phony,what is this record like, which you say you haveon tap?"
"It's a popular song, sir. In all civilized landsthe common people have gone wild over it."
"Makes civilized folks wild folks, eh? Thenit's dangerous."
"Wild with joy, I mean," explained thephonograph. "Listen. This song will prove arare treat to you, I know. It made the authorrich--for an author. It is called 'My Lulu.'"
Then the phonograph began to play. A strainof odd, jerky sounds was followed by thesewords, sung by a man through his nose withgreat vigor of expression:
"Ah wants mah Lulu, mah coal-black Lulu;Ah wants mah loo-loo, loo-loo, loo-loo, Lu!Ah loves mah Lulu, mah coal-black Lulu,There ain't nobody else loves loo-loo, Lu!"
"Here-shut that off!" cried the Shaggy Man,springing to his feet. "What do you mean bysuch impertinence?"
"It's the latest popular song," declared thephonograph, speaking in a sulky tone of voice.
"A popular song?"
"Yes. One that the feeble-minded can rememberthe words of and those ignorant of music canwhistle or sing. That makes a popular songpopular, and the time is coming when it will takethe place of all other songs."
"That time won't come to us, just yet," saidthe Shaggy Man, sternly: "I'm something of asinger myself, and I don't intend to be throttledby any Lulus like your coal-black one. I shalltake you all apart, Mr. Phony, and scatter yourpieces far and wide over the country, as a matterof kindness to the people you might meet ifallowed to run around loose. Having performedthis painful duty I shall--"
But before he could say more the phonographturned and dashed up the road as fast as its fourtable-legs could carry it, and soon it had entirelydisappeared from their view.
The Shaggy Man sat down again and seemedwell pleased. "Some one else will save me thetrouble of scattering that phonograph," said he;"for it is not possible that such a music-makercan last long in the Land of Oz. When you arerested, friends, let us go on our way."
During the afternoon the travelers foundthemselves in a lonely and uninhabited part of thecountry. Even the fields were no longer cultivatedand the country began to resemble a wilderness.The road of yellow bricks seemed to have beenneglected and became uneven and more difficult towalk upon. Scrubby under-brush grew on either sideof the way. while huge rocks were scattered aroundin abundance.
But this did not deter Ojo and his friends fromtrudging on, and they beguiled the journey withjokes and cheerful conversation. Toward eveningthey reached a crystal spring which gushed from atall rock by the roadside and near this springstood a deserted cabin. Said the Shaggy Man,halting here:
"We may as well pass the night here, wherethere is shelter for our heads and good water todrink. Road beyond here is pretty bad; worstwe shall have to travel; so let's wait untilmorning before we tackle it."
They agreed to this and Ojo found some brushwoodin the cabin and made a fire on the hearth. Thefire delighted Scraps, who danced before it untilOjo warned her she might set fire to herself andburn up. After that the Patchwork Girl kept at arespectful distance from the darting flames, butthe Woozy lay down before the fire like a big dogand seemed to enjoy its warmth.
For supper the Shaggy Man ate one of histablets, but Ojo stuck to his bread and cheese asthe most satisfying food. He also gave a portionto the Woozy.
When darkness came on and they sat in a circleon the cabin floor, facing the firelight--therebeing no furniture of any sort in the place--Ojosaid to the Shaggy Man:
"Won't you tell us a story?"
"I'm not good at stories," was the reply; "butI sing like a bird."
"Raven, or crow?" asked the Glass Cat.
"Like a song bird. I'll prove it. I'll sing a songI composed myself. Don't tell anyone I'm a poet;they might want me to write a book. Don't tell'em I can sing, or they'd want me to makerecords for that awful phonograph. Haven'ttime to be a public benefactor, so I'll just singyou this little song for your own amusement."
They were glad enough to be entertained,and listened with interest while the Shaggy Manchanted the following verses to a tune that wasnot unpleasant:
"I'll sing a song of Ozland, where wondrous creatures dwellAnd fruits and flowers and shady bowers abound in every dell,Where magic is a science and where no one shows surpriseIf some amazing thing takes place before his very eyes.
Our Ruler's a bewitching girl whom fairies love to please;She's always kept her magic sceptre to enforce decreesTo make her people happy, for her heart is kind and trueAnd to aid the needy and distressed is what she longs to do.
And then there's Princess Dorothy, as sweet as any rose,A lass from Kansas, where they don't grow fairies, I Suppose;And there's the brainy Scarecrow, with a body stuffed with straw,Who utters words of wisdom rare that fill us all with awe.
I'll not forget Nick Chopper, the Woodman made of Tin,Whose tender heart thinks killing time is quite a dreadful sin,Nor old Professor Woggle-Bug, who's highly magnifiedAnd looks so big to everyone that he is filled with pride.
Jack Pumpkinhead's a dear old chum who might be called a chump,But won renown by riding round upon a magic Gump;The Sawhorse is a splendid steed and though he's made of woodHe does as many thrilling stunts as any meat horse could.
And now I'll introduce a beast that ev'ryone adores--The Cowardly Lion shakes with fear 'most ev'ry time he roars,And yet he does the bravest things that any lion might,Because he knows that cowardice is not considered right.
There's Tik-tok-he's a clockwork man and quite a funny sight--He talks and walks mechanically, when he's wound up tight;And we've a Hungry Tiger who would babies love to eatBut never does because we feed him other kinds of meat.
It's hard to name all of the freaks this noble Land's acquired;'Twould make my song so very long that you would soon be tired;But give attention while I mention one wise Yellow HenAnd Nine fine Tiny Piglets living in a golden pen.
Just search the whole world over--sail the seas from coast to coast--No other nation in creation queerer folk can boast;And now our rare museum will include a Cat of Glass,A Woozy, and--last but not least--a crazy Patchwork Lass."
Ojo was so pleased with this song that heapplauded the singer by clapping his hands, andScraps followed suit by clapping her paddedfingers together. although they made no noise.The cat pounded on the floor with her glasspaws--gently, so as not to break them--and theWoozy. which had been asleep, woke up to askwhat the row was about.
"I seldom sing in public, for fear they mightwant me to start an opera company," remarkedthe Shaggy Man, who was pleased to know hiseffort was appreciated. "Voice, just now is alittle out of training; rusty, perhaps."
"Tell me," said the Patchwork Girl earnestly,"do all those queer people you mention reallylive in the Land of Oz?"
"Every one of 'em. I even forgot one thing:Dorothy's Pink Kitten."
"For goodness sake!" exclaimed Bungle, sittingup and looking interested. "A Pink Kitten? Howabsurd! Is it glass?"
"No; just ordinary kitten."
"Then it can't amount to much. I have pinkbrains, and you can see 'em work."
"Dorothy's kitten is all pink--brains and all--except blue eyes. Name's Eureka. Great favorite atthe royal palace," said the Shaggy Man, yawning.
The Glass Cat seemed annoyed.
"Do you think a pink kitten--common meat--is aspretty as I am?" she asked.
"Can't say. Tastes differ, you know," repliedthe Shaggy Man, yawning again. "But here's apointer that may be of service to you: makefriends with Eureka and you'll be solid at thepalace."
"I'm solid now; solid glass."
"You don't understand," rejoined the ShaggyMan, sleepily. "Anyhow, make friends with thePink Kitten and you'll be all right. If the PinkKitten despises you, look out for breakers."
"Would anyone at the royal palace break aGlass Cat?"
"Might. You never can tell. Advise you to purrsoft and look humble--if you can. And now I'mgoing to bed."
Bungle considered the Shaggy Man's adviceso carefully that her pink brains were busy longafter the others of the party were fast asleep.