THERE is something repellent to me, even at this distance oftime, in looking back at the dreary days, of seclusion whichfollowed each other monotonously in my Highland home. The actionsof my life, however trifling they may have been, I can find someinterest in recalling: they associate me with myfellow-creatures; they connect me, in some degree, with thevigorous movement of the world. But I have no sympathy with thepurely selfish pleasure which some men appear to derive fromdwelling on the minute anatomy of their own feelings, under thepr essure of adverse fortune. Let the domestic record of ourstagnant life in Perthshire (so far as I am concerned in it) bepresented in my mother's words, not in mine. A few lines ofextract from the daily journal which it was her habit to keepwill tell all that need be told before this narrative advances tolater dates and to newer scenes.

"20th August.--We have been two months at our home in Scotland,and I see no change in George for the better. He is as far asever, I fear, from being reconciled to his separation from thatunhappy woman. Nothing will induce him to confess it himself. Hedeclares that his quiet life here with me is all that he desires.But I know better! I have been into his bedroom late at night. Ihave heard him talking of her in his sleep, and I have seen thetears on his eyelids. My poor boy! What thousands of charmingwomen there are who would ask nothing better than to be his wife!And the one woman whom he can never marry is the only woman whomhe loves!

"25th.--A long conversation about George with Mr. MacGlue. I havenever liked this Scotch doctor since he encouraged my son to keepthe fatal appointment at Saint Anthony's Well. But he seems to bea clever man in his profession--and I think, in his way, he meanskindly toward George. His advice was given as coarsely as usual,and very positively at the same time. 'Nothing will cure yourson, madam, of his amatory passion for that half-drowned lady ofhis but change--and another lady. Send him away by himself thistime; and let him feel the want of some kind creature to lookafter him. And when he meets with that kind creature (they are asplenty as fish in the sea), never trouble your head about it ifthere's a flaw in her character. I have got a cracked tea-cupwhich has served me for twenty years. Marry him, ma'am, to thenew one with the utmost speed and impetuosity which the law willpermit.' I hate Mr. MacGlue's opinions--so coarse and sohard-hearted!--but I sadly fear that I must part with my son fora little while, for his own sake.

"26th.--Where is George to go? I have been thinking of it allthrough the night, and I cannot arrive at a conclusion. It is sodifficult to reconcile myself to letting him go away alone.

"29th.--I have always believed in special providences; and I amnow confirmed in my belief. This morning has brought with it anote from our good friend and neighbor at Belhelvie. Sir James isone of the commissioners for the Northern Lights. He is going ina Government vessel to inspect the lighthouses on the North ofScotland, and on the Orkney and Shetland Islands--and, havingnoticed how worn and ill my poor boy looks, he most kindlyinvites George to be his guest on the voyage. They will not beabsent for more than two months; and the sea (as Sir Jamesreminds me) did wonders for George's health when he returned fromIndia. I could wish for no better opportunity than this of tryingwhat change of air and scene will do for him. However painfully Imay feel the separation myself, I shall put a cheerful face onit; and I shall urge George to accept the invitation.

"30th.--I have said all I could; but he still refuses to leaveme. I am a miserable, selfish creature. I felt so glad when hesaid No.

"31st.--Another wakeful night. George must positively send hisanswer to Sir James to-day. I am determined to do my duty towardmy son--he looks so dreadfully pale and ill this morning!Besides, if something is not done to rouse him, how do I knowthat he may not end in going back to Mrs. Van Brandt after all?From every point of view, I feel bound to insist on his acceptingSir James's invitation. I have only to be firm, and the thing isdone. He has never yet disobeyed me, poor fellow. He will notdisobey me now.

"2d September.--He has gone! Entirely to please me--entirelyagainst his own wishes. Oh, how is it that such a good son cannotget a good wife! He would make any woman happy. I wonder whetherI have done right in sending him away? The wind is moaning in thefir plantation at the back of the house. Is there a storm at sea?I forgot to ask Sir James how big the vessel was. The 'Guide toScotland' says the coast is rugged; and there is a wild seabetween the north shore and the Orkney Islands. I almost regrethaving insisted so strongly--how foolish I am! We are all in thehands of God. May God bless and prosper my good son!

"10th.--Very uneasy. No letter from George. Ah, how full oftrouble this life is! and how strange that we should cling to itas we do!

"15th.--A letter from George! They have done with the north coastand they have crossed the wild sea to the Orkneys. Wonderfulweather has favored them so far; and George is in better healthand spirits. Ah! how much happiness there is in life if we onlyhave the patience to wait for it.

"2d October.--Another letter. They are safe in the harbor ofLerwick, the chief port in the Shetland Islands. The weather hasnot latterly been at all favorable. But the amendment in George'shealth remains. He writes most gratefully of Sir James'sunremitting kindness to him. I am so happy, I declare I couldkiss Sir James--though he _is_ a great man, and a Commissionerfor Northern Lights! In three weeks more (wind and weatherpermitting) they hope to get back. Never mind my lonely lifehere, if I can only see George happy and well again! He tells methey have passed a great deal of their time on shore; but not aword does he say about meeting any ladies. Perhaps they arescarce in those wild regions? I have heard of Shetland shawls andShetland ponies. Are there any Shetland ladies, I wonder?"