Chapter 48 - A Family Affair

Athos had invented the phrase, family affair. A familyaffair was not subject to the investigation of the cardinal;a family affair concerned nobody. People might employthemselves in a family affair before all the world.Therefore Athos had invented the phrase, family affair.

Aramis had discovered the idea, the lackeys.

Porthos had discovered the means, the diamond.

D'Artagnan alone had discovered nothing - he, ordinarily themost inventive of the four; but it must be also said thatthe very name of Milady paralyzed him.

Ah! no, we were mistaken; he had discovered a purchaser forhis diamond.

The breakfast at M. de Treville's was as gay and cheerful aspossible. D'Artagnan already wore his uniform - for beingnearly of the same size as Aramis, and as Aramis was soliberally paid by the publisher who purchased his poem as toallow him to buy everything double, he sold his friend acomplete outfit.

D'Artagnan would have been at the height of his wishes if hehad not constantly seen Milady like a dark cloud hovering inthe horizon.

After breakfast, it was agreed that they should meet againin the evening at Athos's lodging, and there finish theirplans.

D'Artagnan passed the day in exhibiting his Musketeer'suniform in every street of the camp.

In the evening, at the appointed hour, the four friends met.There only remained three things to decide - what theyshould write to Milady's brother; what they should write tothe clever person at Tours; and which should be the lackeysto carry the letters.

Everyone offered his own. Athos talked of the discretion ofGrimaud, who never spoke a word but when his master unlockedhis mouth. Porthos boasted of the strength of Mousqueton,who was big enough to thrash four men of ordinary size.Aramis, confiding in the address of Bazin, made a pompouseulogium on his candidate. Finally, D'Artagnan had entirefaith in the bravery of Planchet, and reminded them of themanner in which he had conducted himself in the ticklishaffair of Boulogne.

These four virtues disputed the prize for a length of time,and gave birth to magnificent speeches which we do notrepeat here for fear they should be deemed too long.

"Unfortunately," said Athos, "he whom we send must possessin himself alone the four qualities united."

"But where is such a lackey to be found?"

"Not to be found!" cried Athos. "I know it well, so takeGrimaud."

"Take Mousqueton."

"Take Bazin."

"Take Planchet. Planchet is brave and shrewd; they are twoqualities out of the four."

"Gentlemen," said Aramis, "the principal question is not toknow which of our four lackeys is the most discreet, themost strong, the most clever, or the most brave; theprincipal thing is to know which loves money the best."

"What Aramis says is very sensible," replied Athos; "we mustspeculate upon the faults of people, and not upon theirvirtues. Monsieur Abbe, you are a great moralist."

"Doubtless," said Aramis, "for we not only require to bewell served in order to succeed, but moreover, not to fail;for in case of failure, heads are in question, not for ourlackeys - "

"Speak lower, Aramis," said Athos.

"That's wise - not for the lackeys," resumed Aramis, "but forthe master - for the masters, we may say. Are our lackeyssufficiently devoted to us to risk their lives for us? No."

"My faith," said D'Artagnan. "I would almost answer forPlanchet."

"Well, my dear friend, add to his natural devotedness a goodsum of money, and then, instead of answering for him once,answer for him twice."

"Why, good God! you will be deceived just the same," saidAthos, who was an optimist when things were concerned, and apessimist when men were in question. "They will promiseeverything for the sake of the money, and on the road fearwill prevent them from acting. Once taken, they will bepressed; when pressed, they will confess everything. Whatthe devil! we are not children. To reach England" - Athoslowered his voice - "all France, covered with spies andcreatures of the cardinal, must be crossed. A passport forembarkation must be obtained; and the party must beacquainted with English in order to ask the way to London.Really, I think the thing very difficult."

"Not at all," cried D'Artagnan, who was anxious the mattershould be accomplished; "on the contrary, I think it veryeasy. It would be, no doubt, parbleu, if we write to Lordde Winter about affairs of vast importance, of the horrorsof the cardinal - "

"Speak lower!" said Athos.

" - of intrigues and secrets of state," continued D'Artagnan,complying with the recommendation. "there can be no doubtwe would all be broken on the wheel; but for God's sake, donot forget, as you yourself said, Athos, that we only writeto him concerning a family affair; that we only write to himto entreat that as soon as Milady arrives in London he willput it out of her power to injure us. I will write to him,then, nearly in these terms."

"Let us see," said Athos, assuming in advance a criticallook.

"Monsieur and dear friend - "

"Ah, yes! Dear friend to an Englishman," interrupted Athos;"well commenced! Bravo, D'Artagnan! Only with that wordyou would be quartered instead of being broken on thewheel."

"Well, perhaps. I will say, then, Monsieur, quite short."

"You may even say, My Lord," replied Athos, who stickled forpropriety.

"My Lord, do you remember the little goat pasture of theLuxembourg?"

"Good, the Luxembourg! One might believe this is anallusion to the queen-mother! That's ingenious," saidAthos.

"Well, then, we will put simply, My Lord, do you remember acertain little enclosure where your life was spared?"

"My dear D'Artagnan, you will never make anything but a verybad secretary. Where your life was spared! For shame!that's unworthy. A man of spirit is not to be reminded ofsuch services. A benefit reproached is an offensecommitted."

"The devil!" said D'Artagnan, "you are insupportable. Ifthe letter must be written under your censure, my faith, Irenounce the task."

"And you will do right. Handle the musket and the sword, mydear fellow. You will come off splendidly at those twoexercises; but pass the pen over to Monsieur Abbe. That'shis province."

"Ay, ay!" said Porthos; "pass the pen to Aramis, who writestheses in Latin."

"Well, so be it," said D'Artagnan. "Draw up this note forus, Aramis; but by our Holy Father the Pope, cut it short,for I shall prune you in my turn, I warn you."

"I ask no better," said Aramis, with that ingenious air ofconfidence which every poet has in himself; "but let me beproperly acquainted with the subject. I have heard here andthere that this sister-in-law was a hussy. I have obtainedproof of it by listening to her conversation with thecardinal."

"Lower! sacre bleu!" said Athos.

"But," continued Aramis, "the details escape me."

"And me also," said Porthos.

D'Artagnan and Athos looked at each other for some time insilence. At length Athos, after serious reflection andbecoming more pale than usual, made a sign of assent toD'Artagnan, who by it understood he was at liberty to speak.

"Well, this is what you have to say," said D'Artagnan: "MyLord, your sister-in-law is an infamous woman, who wished tohave you killed that she might inherit your wealth; but shecould not marry your brother, being already married inFrance, and having been - " D'Artagnan stopped, as ifseeking for the word, and looked at Athos.

"Repudiated by her husband," said Athos.

"Because she had been branded," continued D'Artagnan.

"Bah!" cried Porthos. "Impossible! What do you say - thatshe wanted to have her brother-in-law killed?"

"Yes."

"She was married?" asked Aramis.

"Yes."

"And her husband found out that she had a fleur-de-lis onher shoulder?" cried Porthos.

"Yes."

These three yeses had been pronounced by Athos, each with asadder intonation.

"And who has seen this fleur-de-lis?" inquired Aramis.

"D'Artagnan and I. Or rather, to observe the chronologicalorder, I and D'Artagnan," replied Athos.

"And does the husband of this frightful creature stilllive?" said Aramis.

"He still lives."

"Are you quite sure of it?"

"I am he."

There was a moment of cold silence, during which everyonewas affected according to his nature.

"This time," said Athos, first breaking the silence,"D'Artagnan has given us an excellent program, and theletter must be written at once."

"The devil! You are right, Athos," said Aramis; "and it isa rather difficult matter. The chancellor himself would bepuzzled how to write such a letter, and yet the chancellordraws up an official report very readily. Never mind! Besilent, I will write."

Aramis accordingly took the quill, reflected for a fewmoments, wrote eight or ten lines in a charming littlefemale hand, and then with a voice soft and slow, as if eachword had been scrupulously weighed, he read the following:

"My Lord, The person who writes these few lines had thehonor of crossing swords with you in the little enclosure ofthe Rue d'Enfer. As you have several times since declaredyourself the friend of that person, he thinks it his duty torespond to that friendship by sending you importantinformation. Twice you have nearly been the victim of a near relative, whom you believe to be your heir because youare ignorant that before she contracted a marriage inEngland she was already married in France. But the thirdtime, which is the present, you may succumb. Your relativeleft La Rochelle for England during the night. Watch herarrival, for she has great and terrible projects. If yourequire to know positively what she is capable of, read herpast history on her left shoulder."

"Well, now that will do wonderfully well," said Athos. "Mydear Aramis, you have the pen of a secretary of state. Lordde Winter will now be upon his guard if the letter shouldreach him; and even if it should fall into the hands of thecardinal, we shall not be compromised. But as the lackeywho goes may make us believe he has been to London and maystop at Chatellerault, let us give him only half the sumpromised him, with the letter, with an agreement that heshall have the other half in exchange for the reply. Haveyou the diamond?" continued Athos.

"I have what is still better. I have the price"; andD'Artagnan threw the bag upon the table. At the sound ofthe gold Aramis raised his eyes and Porthos started. As toAthos, he remained unmoved.

"How much in that little bag?"

"Seven thousand livres, in louis of twelve francs."

"Seven thousand livres!" cried Porthos. "That poor littlediamond was worth seven thousand livres?"

"It appears so," said Athos, "since here they are. I don'tsuppose that our friend D'Artagnan has added any of his ownto the amount."

"But, gentlemen, in all this," said D'Artagnan, "we do notthink of the queen. Let us take some heed of the welfare ofher dear Buckingham. That is the least we owe her."

"That's true," said Athos; "but that concerns Aramis."

"Well," replied the latter, blushing, "what must I say?"

"Oh, that's simple enough!" replied Athos. "Write a secondletter for that clever personage who lives at Tours."

Aramis resumed his pen, reflected a little, and wrote thefollowing lines, which he immediately submitted to theapprobation of his friends.

"My dear cousin."

"Ah, ah!" said Athos. "This clever person is your relative,then?"

"Cousin-german."

"Go on, to your cousin, then!"

Aramis continued:

"My dear Cousin, His Eminence, the cardinal, whom Godpreserve for the happiness of France and the confusion ofthe enemies of the kingdom, is on the point of putting anend to the hectic rebellion of La Rochelle. It is probablethat the succor of the English fleet will never even arrivein sight of the place. I will even venture to say that I amcertain M. de Buckingham will be prevented from setting outby some great event. His Eminence is the most illustriouspolitician of times past, of times present, and probably oftimes to come. He would extinguish the sun if the sunincommoded him. Give these happy tidings to your sister, mydear cousin. I have dreamed that the unlucky Englishman wasdead. I cannot recollect whether it was by steel or bypoison; only of this I am sure, I have dreamed he was dead,and you know my dreams never deceive me. Be assured, then,of seeing me soon return."

"Capital!" cried Athos; "you are the king of poets, my dearAramis. You speak like the Apocalypse, and you are as trueas the Gospel. There is nothing now to do but to put theaddress to this letter."

"That is easily done," said Aramis.

He folded the letter fancifully, and took up his pen andwrote:

"To Mlle. Michon, seamstress, Tours."

The three friends looked at one another and laughed; theywere caught.

"Now," said Aramis, "you will please to understand,gentlemen, that Bazin alone can carry this letter to Tours.My cousin knows nobody but Bazin, and places confidence innobody but him; any other person would fail. Besides, Bazinis ambitious and learned; Bazin has read history, gentlemen,he knows that Sixtus the Fifth became Pope after having keptpigs. Well, as he means to enter the Church at the sametime as myself, he does not despair of becoming Pope in histurn, or at least a cardinal. You can understand that a manwho has such views will never allow himself to be taken, orif taken, will undergo martyrdom rather than speak."

"Very well," said D'Artagnan, "I consent to Bazin with allmy heart, but grant me Planchet. Milady had him one dayturned out of doors, with sundry blows of a good stick toaccelerate his motions. Now, Planchet has an excellentmemory; and I will be bound that sooner than relinquish anypossible means of vengeance, he will allow himself to bebeaten to death. If your arrangements at Tours are yourarrangements, Aramis, those of London are mine. I request,then, that Planchet may be chosen, more particularly as hehas already been to London with me, and knows how to speakcorrectly: London, sir, if you please, and my master, Lordd'Artagnan. With that you may be satisfied he can make hisway, both going and returning."

"In that case," said Athos, "Planchet must receive sevenhundred livres for going, and seven hundred livres forcoming back; and Bazin, three hundred livres for going, andthree hundred livres for returning - that will reduce the sumto five thousand livres. We will each take a thousandlivres to be employed as seems good, and we will leave afund of a thousand livres under the guardianship of MonsieurAbbe here, for extraordinary occasions or common wants.Will that do?"

"My dear Athos," said Aramis, "you speak like Nestor, whowas, as everyone knows, the wisest among the Greeks."

"Well, then," said Athos, "it is agreed. Planchet and Bazinshall go. Everything considered, I am not sorry to retainGrimaud; he is accustomed to my ways, and I am particular.Yesterday's affair must have shaken him a little; his voyagewould upset him quite."

Planchet was sent for, and instructions were given him. Thematter had been named to him by D'Artagnan, who in the firstplace pointed out the money to him, then the glory, and thenthe danger.

"I will carry the letter in the lining of my coat," saidPlanchet; "and if I am taken I will swallow it."

"Well, but then you will not be able to fulfill yourcommission," said D'Artagnan.

"You will give me a copy this evening, which I shall know byheart tomorrow."

D'Artagnan looked at his friends, as if to say, "Well, whatdid I tell you?"

"Now," continued he, addressing Planchet, "you have eightdays to get an interview with Lord de Winter; you have eightdays to return - in all sixteen days. If, on the sixteenthday after your departure, at eight o'clock in the eveningyou are not here, no money - even if it be but five minutespast eight."

"Then, monsieur," said Planchet, "you must buy me a watch."

"Take this," said Athos, with his usual careless generosity,giving him his own, "and be a good lad. Remember, if youtalk, if you babble, if you get drunk, you risk yourmaster's head, who has so much confidence in your fidelity,and who answers for you. But remember, also, that if byyour fault any evil happens to D'Artagnan, I will find you,wherever you may be, for the purpose of ripping up yourbelly."

"Oh, monsieur!" said Planchet, humiliated by the suspicion,and moreover, terrified at the calm air of the Musketeer.

"And I," said Porthos, rolling his large eyes, "remember, Iwill skin you alive."

"Ah, monsieur!"

"And I," said Aramis, with his soft, melodius voice,"remember that I will roast you at a slow fire, like asavage."

"Ah, monsieur!"

Planchet began to weep. We will not venture to say whetherit was from terror created by the threats or from tendernessat seeing four friends so closely united.

D'Artagnan took his hand. "See, Planchet," said he, "thesegentlemen only say this out of affection for me, but atbottom they all like you."

"Ah, monsieur," said Planchet, "I will succeed or I willconsent to be cut in quarters; and if they do cut me inquarters, be assured that not a morsel of me will speak."

It was decided that Planchet should set out the next day, ateight o'clock in the morning, in order, as he had said, thathe might during the night learn the letter by heart. Hegained just twelve hours by this engagement; he was to beback on the sixteenth day, by eight o'clock in the evening.

In the morning, as he was mounting his horse, D'Artagnan,who felt at the bottom of his heart a partiality for theduke, took Planchet aside.

"Listen," said he to him. "When you have given the letterto Lord de Winter and he has read it, you will further sayto him: Watch over his Grace Lord Buckingham, for they wishto assassinate him. But this, Planchet, is so serious andimportant that I have not informed my friends that I wouldentrust this secret to you; and for a captain's commission Iwould not write it."

"Be satisfied, monsieur," said Planchet, "you shall see ifconfidence can be placed in me."

Mounted on an excellent horse, which he was to leave at theend of twenty leagues in order to take the post, Planchetset off at a gallop, his spirits a little depressed by thetriple promise made him by the Musketeers, but otherwise aslight-hearted as possible.

Bazin set out the next day for Tours, and was allowed eightdays for performing his commission.

The four friends, during the period of these two absences,had, as may well be supposed, the eye on the watch, the noseto the wind, and the ear on the hark. Their days werepassed in endeavoring to catch all that was said, inobserving the proceeding of the cardinal, and in looking outfor all the couriers who arrived. More than once aninvoluntary trembling seized them when called upon for someunexpected service. They had, besides, to look constantlyto their own proper safety; Milday was a phantom which, whenit had once appeared to people, did not allow them to sleepvery quietly.

On the morning of the eighth day, Bazin, fresh as ever, andsmiling, according to custom, entered the cabaret of theParpaillot as the four friends were sitting down tobreakfast, saying, as had been agreed upon: "MonsieurAramis, the answer from your cousin."

The four friends exchanged a joyful glance; half of the workwas done. It is true, however, that it was the shorter andeasier part.

Aramis, blushing in spite of himself, took the letter, whichwas in a large, coarse hand and not particular for itsorthography.

"Good God!" cried he, laughing, "I quite despair of my poorMichon; she will never write like Monsieur de Voiture."

"What does you mean by boor Michon?" said the Swiss, who waschatting with the four friends when the letter came.

"Oh, pardieu, less than nothing," said Aramis; "a charminglittle seamstress, whom I love dearly and from whose hand Irequested a few lines as a sort of keepsake."

"The duvil!" said the Swiss, "if she is as great a lady asher writing is large, you are a lucky fellow, gomrade!"

Aramis read the letter, and passed it to Athos.

"See what she writes to me, Athos," said he.

Athos cast a glance over the epistle, and to disperse allthe suspicions that might have been created, read aloud:

"My cousin, My sister and I are skillful in interpretingdreams, and even entertain great fear of them; but of yoursit may be said, I hope, every dream is an illusion. Adieu!Take care of yourself, and act so that we may from time totime hear you spoken of.

"Marie Michon"

"And what dream does she mean?" asked the dragoon, who hadapproached during the reading.

"Yez; what's the dream?" said the Swiss.

"Well, pardieu!" said Aramis, "it was only this: I had adream, and I related it to her."

"Yez, yez," said the Swiss; "it's simple enough to dell adream, but I neffer dream."

"You are very fortunate," said Athos, rising; "I wish Icould say as much!"

"Neffer," replied the Swiss, enchanted that a man like Athoscould envy him anything. "Neffer, neffer!"

D'Artagnan, seeing Athos rise, did likewise, took his arm,and went out.

Porthos and Aramis remained behind to encounter the jokes ofthe dragoon and the Swiss.

As to Bazin, he went and lay down on a truss of straw; andas he had more imagination than the Swiss, he dreamed thatAramis, having become pope, adorned his head with acardinal's hat.

But, as we have said, Bazin had not, by his fortunatereturn, removed more than a part of the uneasiness whichweighed upon the four friends. The days of expectation arelong, and D'Artagnan, in particular, would have wagered thatthe days were forty-four hours. He forgot the necessaryslowness of navigation; he exaggerated to himself the powerof Milady. He credited this woman, who appeared to him theequal of a demon, with agents as supernatural as herself; atthe least noise, he imagined himself about to be arrested,and that Planchet was being brought back to be confrontedwith himself and his friends. Still further, his confidencein the worthy Picard, at one time so great, diminished dayby day. This anxiety became so great that it even extendedto Aramis and Porthos. Athos alone remained unmoved, as ifno danger hovered over him, and as if he breathed hiscustomary atmosphere.

On the sixteenth day, in particular, these signs were sostrong in D'Artagnan and his two friends that they could notremain quiet in one place, and wandered about like ghosts onthe road by which Planchet was expected.

"Really," said Athos to them, "you are not men but children,to let a woman terrify you so! And what does it amount to,after all? To be imprisoned. Well, but we should be takenout of prison; Madame Bonacieux was released. To bedecapitated? Why, every day in the trenches we gocheerfully to expose ourselves to worse than that - for abullet may break a leg, and I am convinced a surgeon wouldgive us more pain in cutting off a thigh than an executionerin cutting off a head. Wait quietly, then; in two hours, infour, in six hours at latest, Planchet will be here. Hepromised to be here, and I have very great faith inPlanchet, who appears to me to be a very good lad."

"But if he does not come?" said D'Artagnan.

"Well, if he does not come, it will be because he has beendelayed, that's all. He may have fallen from his horse, hemay have cut a caper from the deck; he may have traveled sofast against the wind as to have brought on a violentcatarrh. Eh, gentlemen, let us reckon upon accidents! Lifeis a chaplet of little miseries which the philosopher countswith a smile. Be philosophers, as I am, gentlemen; sit downat the table and let us drink. Nothing makes the futurelook so bright as surveying it through a glass ofchambertin."

"That's all very well," replied D'Artagnan; "but I am tiredof fearing when I open a fresh bottle that the wine may comefrom the cellar of Milady."

"You are very fastidious," said Athos; "such a beautifulwoman!"

"A woman of mark!" said Porthos, with his loud laugh.

Athos started, passed his hand over his brow to remove thedrops of perspiration that burst forth, and rose in his turnwith a nervous movement he could not repress.

The day, however, passed away; and the evening came onslowly, but finally it came. The bars were filled withdrinkers. Athos, who had pocketed his share of the diamond,seldom quit the Parpaillot. He had found in M. de Busigny,who, by the by, had given them a magnificent dinner, apartner worthy of his company. They were playing together,as usual, when seven o'clock sounded; the patrol was heardpassing to double the posts. At half past seven the retreatwas sounded.

"We are lost," said D'Artagnan, in the ear of Athos.

"You mean to say we have lost," said Athos, quietly, drawingfour pistoles from his pocket and throwing them upon thetable. "Come, gentlemen," said he, "they are beating thetattoo. Let us to bed!"

And Athos went out of the Parpaillot, followed byD'Artagnan. Aramis came behind, giving his arm to Porthos.Aramis mumbled verses to himself, and Porthos from time totime pulled a hair or two from his mustache, in sign ofdespair.

But all at once a shadow appeared in the darkness theoutline of which was familiar to D'Artagnan, and a well-known voice said, "Monsieur, I have brought your cloak; itis chilly this evening."

"Planchet!" cried D'Artagnan, beside himself with joy.

"Planchet!" repeated Aramis and Porthos.

"Well, yes, Planchet, to be sure," said Athos, "what isthere so astonishing in that? He promised to be back byeight o'clock, and eight is striking. Bravo, Planchet, youare a lad of your word, and if ever you leave your master, Iwill promise you a place in my service."

"Oh, no, never," said Planchet, "I will never leave Monsieurd'Artagnan."

At the same time D'Artagnan felt that Planchet slipped anote into his hand.

D'Artagnan felt a strong inclination to embrace Planchet ashe had embraced him on his departure; but he feared lestthis mark of affection, bestowed upon his lackey in the openstreet, might appear extraordinary to passers-by, and herestrained himself.

"I have the note," said he to Athos and to his friends.

"That's well," said Athos, "let us go home and read it."

The note burned the hand of D'Artagnan. He wished to hastentheir steps; but Athos took his arm and passed it under hisown, and the young man was forced to regulate his pace bythat of his friend.

At length they reached the tent, lit a lamp, and whilePlanchet stood at the entrance that the four friends mightnot be surprised, D'Artagnan, with a trembling hand, brokethe seal and opened the so anxiously expected letter.

It contained half a line, in a hand perfectly British, andwith a conciseness as perfectly Spartan:

Thank you; be easy.

D'Artagnan translated this for the others.

Athos took the letter from the hands of D'Artagnan,approached the lamp, set fire to the paper, and did not letgo till it was reduced to a cinder.

Then, calling Planchet, he said, "Now, my lad, you may claimyour seven hundred livres, but you did not run much riskwith such a note as that."

"I am not to blame for having tried every means to compressit," said Planchet.

"Well!" cried D'Artagnan, "tell us all about it."

"Dame, that's a long job, monsieur."

"You are right, Planchet," said Athos; "besides, the tattoohas been sounded, and we should be observed if we kept alight burning much longer than the others."

"So be it," said D'Artagnan. "Go to bed, Planchet, andsleep soundly."

"My faith, monsieur! that will be the first time I have doneso for sixteen days."

"And me, too!" said D'Artagnan.

"And me, too!" said Porthos.

"And me, too!" said Aramis.

"Well, if you will have the truth, and me, too!" said Athos.