There was once a man called Frederick: he had a wife whose name wasCatherine, and they had not long been married. One day Frederick said.'Kate! I am going to work in the fields; when I come back I shall behungry so let me have something nice cooked, and a good draught of ale.''Very well,' said she, 'it shall all be ready.' When dinner-time drewnigh, Catherine took a nice steak, which was all the meat she had, andput it on the fire to fry. The steak soon began to look brown, and tocrackle in the pan; and Catherine stood by with a fork and turned it:then she said to herself, 'The steak is almost ready, I may as well goto the cellar for the ale.' So she left the pan on the fire and took alarge jug and went into the cellar and tapped the ale cask. The beer raninto the jug and Catherine stood looking on. At last it popped into herhead, 'The dog is not shut up--he may be running away with the steak;that's well thought of.' So up she ran from the cellar; and sure enoughthe rascally cur had got the steak in his mouth, and was making off withit.

Away ran Catherine, and away ran the dog across the field: but he ranfaster than she, and stuck close to the steak. 'It's all gone, and "whatcan't be cured must be endured",' said Catherine. So she turned round;and as she had run a good way and was tired, she walked home leisurelyto cool herself.

Now all this time the ale was running too, for Catherine had not turnedthe cock; and when the jug was full the liquor ran upon the floor tillthe cask was empty. When she got to the cellar stairs she saw what hadhappened. 'My stars!' said she, 'what shall I do to keep Frederick fromseeing all this slopping about?' So she thought a while; and at lastremembered that there was a sack of fine meal bought at the last fair,and that if she sprinkled this over the floor it would suck up the alenicely. 'What a lucky thing,' said she, 'that we kept that meal! we havenow a good use for it.' So away she went for it: but she managed to setit down just upon the great jug full of beer, and upset it; and thusall the ale that had been saved was set swimming on the floor also. 'Ah!well,' said she, 'when one goes another may as well follow.' Then shestrewed the meal all about the cellar, and was quite pleased with hercleverness, and said, 'How very neat and clean it looks!'

At noon Frederick came home. 'Now, wife,' cried he, 'what have you fordinner?' 'O Frederick!' answered she, 'I was cooking you a steak; butwhile I went down to draw the ale, the dog ran away with it; and whileI ran after him, the ale ran out; and when I went to dry up the alewith the sack of meal that we got at the fair, I upset the jug: but thecellar is now quite dry, and looks so clean!' 'Kate, Kate,' said he,'how could you do all this?' Why did you leave the steak to fry, and theale to run, and then spoil all the meal?' 'Why, Frederick,' said she, 'Idid not know I was doing wrong; you should have told me before.'

The husband thought to himself, 'If my wife manages matters thus, I mustlook sharp myself.' Now he had a good deal of gold in the house: so hesaid to Catherine, 'What pretty yellow buttons these are! I shall putthem into a box and bury them in the garden; but take care that younever go near or meddle with them.' 'No, Frederick,' said she, 'thatI never will.' As soon as he was gone, there came by some pedlars withearthenware plates and dishes, and they asked her whether she would buy.'Oh dear me, I should like to buy very much, but I have no money: ifyou had any use for yellow buttons, I might deal with you.' 'Yellowbuttons!' said they: 'let us have a look at them.' 'Go into the gardenand dig where I tell you, and you will find the yellow buttons: I darenot go myself.' So the rogues went: and when they found what theseyellow buttons were, they took them all away, and left her plenty ofplates and dishes. Then she set them all about the house for a show:and when Frederick came back, he cried out, 'Kate, what have you beendoing?' 'See,' said she, 'I have bought all these with your yellowbuttons: but I did not touch them myself; the pedlars went themselvesand dug them up.' 'Wife, wife,' said Frederick, 'what a pretty piece ofwork you have made! those yellow buttons were all my money: how came youto do such a thing?' 'Why,' answered she, 'I did not know there was anyharm in it; you should have told me.'

Catherine stood musing for a while, and at last said to her husband,'Hark ye, Frederick, we will soon get the gold back: let us run afterthe thieves.' 'Well, we will try,' answered he; 'but take some butterand cheese with you, that we may have something to eat by the way.''Very well,' said she; and they set out: and as Frederick walked thefastest, he left his wife some way behind. 'It does not matter,' thoughtshe: 'when we turn back, I shall be so much nearer home than he.'

Presently she came to the top of a hill, down the side of which therewas a road so narrow that the cart wheels always chafed the treeson each side as they passed. 'Ah, see now,' said she, 'how they havebruised and wounded those poor trees; they will never get well.' So shetook pity on them, and made use of the butter to grease them all, sothat the wheels might not hurt them so much. While she was doing thiskind office one of her cheeses fell out of the basket, and rolled downthe hill. Catherine looked, but could not see where it had gone; so shesaid, 'Well, I suppose the other will go the same way and find you; hehas younger legs than I have.' Then she rolled the other cheese afterit; and away it went, nobody knows where, down the hill. But she saidshe supposed that they knew the road, and would follow her, and shecould not stay there all day waiting for them.

At last she overtook Frederick, who desired her to give him something toeat. Then she gave him the dry bread. 'Where are the butter and cheese?'said he. 'Oh!' answered she, 'I used the butter to grease those poortrees that the wheels chafed so: and one of the cheeses ran away so Isent the other after it to find it, and I suppose they are both onthe road together somewhere.' 'What a goose you are to do such sillythings!' said the husband. 'How can you say so?' said she; 'I am sureyou never told me not.'

They ate the dry bread together; and Frederick said, 'Kate, I hope youlocked the door safe when you came away.' 'No,' answered she, 'you didnot tell me.' 'Then go home, and do it now before we go any farther,'said Frederick, 'and bring with you something to eat.'

Catherine did as he told her, and thought to herself by the way,'Frederick wants something to eat; but I don't think he is very fond ofbutter and cheese: I'll bring him a bag of fine nuts, and the vinegar,for I have often seen him take some.'

When she reached home, she bolted the back door, but the front door shetook off the hinges, and said, 'Frederick told me to lock the door, butsurely it can nowhere be so safe if I take it with me.' So she tookher time by the way; and when she overtook her husband she criedout, 'There, Frederick, there is the door itself, you may watch it ascarefully as you please.' 'Alas! alas!' said he, 'what a clever wife Ihave! I sent you to make the house fast, and you take the door away, sothat everybody may go in and out as they please--however, as you havebrought the door, you shall carry it about with you for your pains.''Very well,' answered she, 'I'll carry the door; but I'll not carry thenuts and vinegar bottle also--that would be too much of a load; so ifyou please, I'll fasten them to the door.'

Frederick of course made no objection to that plan, and they set offinto the wood to look for the thieves; but they could not find them: andwhen it grew dark, they climbed up into a tree to spend the night there.Scarcely were they up, than who should come by but the very rogues theywere looking for. They were in truth great rascals, and belonged to thatclass of people who find things before they are lost; they were tired;so they sat down and made a fire under the very tree where Frederick andCatherine were. Frederick slipped down on the other side, and picked upsome stones. Then he climbed up again, and tried to hit the thieves onthe head with them: but they only said, 'It must be near morning, forthe wind shakes the fir-apples down.'

Catherine, who had the door on her shoulder, began to be very tired;but she thought it was the nuts upon it that were so heavy: so she saidsoftly, 'Frederick, I must let the nuts go.' 'No,' answered he, 'notnow, they will discover us.' 'I can't help that: they must go.' 'Well,then, make haste and throw them down, if you will.' Then away rattledthe nuts down among the boughs and one of the thieves cried, 'Bless me,it is hailing.'

A little while after, Catherine thought the door was still very heavy:so she whispered to Frederick, 'I must throw the vinegar down.' 'Praydon't,' answered he, 'it will discover us.' 'I can't help that,' saidshe, 'go it must.' So she poured all the vinegar down; and the thievessaid, 'What a heavy dew there is!'

At last it popped into Catherine's head that it was the door itself thatwas so heavy all the time: so she whispered, 'Frederick, I must throwthe door down soon.' But he begged and prayed her not to do so, for hewas sure it would betray them. 'Here goes, however,' said she: and downwent the door with such a clatter upon the thieves, that they criedout 'Murder!' and not knowing what was coming, ran away as fast as theycould, and left all the gold. So when Frederick and Catherine came down,there they found all their money safe and sound.