Chapter 59 - Return
I landed in London on a wintry autumn evening. It was dark and raining,and I saw more fog and mud in a minute than I had seen in a year. Iwalked from the Custom House to the Monument before I found a coach;and although the very house-fronts, looking on the swollen gutters, werelike old friends to me, I could not but admit that they were very dingyfriends.
I have often remarked--I suppose everybody has--that one's going awayfrom a familiar place, would seem to be the signal for change in it.As I looked out of the coach window, and observed that an old house onFish-street Hill, which had stood untouched by painter, carpenter, orbricklayer, for a century, had been pulled down in my absence; and thata neighbouring street, of time-honoured insalubrity and inconvenience,was being drained and widened; I half expected to find St. Paul'sCathedral looking older.
For some changes in the fortunes of my friends, I was prepared. My aunthad long been re-established at Dover, and Traddles had begun to getinto some little practice at the Bar, in the very first term after mydeparture. He had chambers in Gray's Inn, now; and had told me, in hislast letters, that he was not without hopes of being soon united to thedearest girl in the world.
They expected me home before Christmas; but had no idea of my returningso soon. I had purposely misled them, that I might have the pleasure oftaking them by surprise. And yet, I was perverse enough to feel a chilland disappointment in receiving no welcome, and rattling, alone andsilent, through the misty streets.
The well-known shops, however, with their cheerful lights, did somethingfor me; and when I alighted at the door of the Gray's Inn Coffee-house,I had recovered my spirits. It recalled, at first, that so-differenttime when I had put up at the Golden Cross, and reminded me of thechanges that had come to pass since then; but that was natural.
'Do you know where Mr. Traddles lives in the Inn?' I asked the waiter,as I warmed myself by the coffee-room fire.
'Holborn Court, sir. Number two.'
'Mr. Traddles has a rising reputation among the lawyers, I believe?'said I.
'Well, sir,' returned the waiter, 'probably he has, sir; but I am notaware of it myself.'
This waiter, who was middle-aged and spare, looked for help to a waiterof more authority--a stout, potential old man, with a double chin,in black breeches and stockings, who came out of a place like achurchwarden's pew, at the end of the coffee-room, where he kept companywith a cash-box, a Directory, a Law-list, and other books and papers.
'Mr. Traddles,' said the spare waiter. 'Number two in the Court.'
The potential waiter waved him away, and turned, gravely, to me.
'I was inquiring,' said I, 'whether Mr. Traddles, at number two in theCourt, has not a rising reputation among the lawyers?'
'Never heard his name,' said the waiter, in a rich husky voice.
I felt quite apologetic for Traddles.
'He's a young man, sure?' said the portentous waiter, fixing his eyesseverely on me. 'How long has he been in the Inn?'
'Not above three years,' said I.
The waiter, who I supposed had lived in his churchwarden's pew for fortyyears, could not pursue such an insignificant subject. He asked me whatI would have for dinner?
I felt I was in England again, and really was quite cast down onTraddles's account. There seemed to be no hope for him. I meekly ordereda bit of fish and a steak, and stood before the fire musing on hisobscurity.
As I followed the chief waiter with my eyes, I could not help thinkingthat the garden in which he had gradually blown to be the flower hewas, was an arduous place to rise in. It had such a prescriptive,stiff-necked, long-established, solemn, elderly air. I glanced about theroom, which had had its sanded floor sanded, no doubt, in exactly thesame manner when the chief waiter was a boy--if he ever was a boy,which appeared improbable; and at the shining tables, where I sawmyself reflected, in unruffled depths of old mahogany; and at the lamps,without a flaw in their trimming or cleaning; and at the comfortablegreen curtains, with their pure brass rods, snugly enclosing the boxes;and at the two large coal fires, brightly burning; and at the rows ofdecanters, burly as if with the consciousness of pipes of expensive oldport wine below; and both England, and the law, appeared to me to bevery difficult indeed to be taken by storm. I went up to my bedroomto change my wet clothes; and the vast extent of that old wainscotedapartment (which was over the archway leading to the Inn, I remember),and the sedate immensity of the four-post bedstead, and the indomitablegravity of the chests of drawers, all seemed to unite in sternlyfrowning on the fortunes of Traddles, or on any such daring youth. Icame down again to my dinner; and even the slow comfort of the meal,and the orderly silence of the place--which was bare of guests, the LongVacation not yet being over--were eloquent on the audacity of Traddles,and his small hopes of a livelihood for twenty years to come.
I had seen nothing like this since I went away, and it quite dashed myhopes for my friend. The chief waiter had had enough of me. He came nearme no more; but devoted himself to an old gentleman in long gaiters, tomeet whom a pint of special port seemed to come out of the cellar of itsown accord, for he gave no order. The second waiter informed me, in awhisper, that this old gentleman was a retired conveyancer living in theSquare, and worth a mint of money, which it was expected he would leaveto his laundress's daughter; likewise that it was rumoured that he hada service of plate in a bureau, all tarnished with lying by, though morethan one spoon and a fork had never yet been beheld in his chambersby mortal vision. By this time, I quite gave Traddles up for lost; andsettled in my own mind that there was no hope for him.
Being very anxious to see the dear old fellow, nevertheless, Idispatched my dinner, in a manner not at all calculated to raise me inthe opinion of the chief waiter, and hurried out by the back way. Numbertwo in the Court was soon reached; and an inscription on the door-postinforming me that Mr. Traddles occupied a set of chambers on the topstorey, I ascended the staircase. A crazy old staircase I found it tobe, feebly lighted on each landing by a club--headed little oil wick,dying away in a little dungeon of dirty glass.
In the course of my stumbling upstairs, I fancied I heard a pleasantsound of laughter; and not the laughter of an attorney or barrister, orattorney's clerk or barrister's clerk, but of two or three merry girls.Happening, however, as I stopped to listen, to put my foot in a holewhere the Honourable Society of Gray's Inn had left a plank deficient,I fell down with some noise, and when I recovered my footing all wassilent.
Groping my way more carefully, for the rest of the journey, my heartbeat high when I found the outer door, which had Mr. TRADDLES painted onit, open. I knocked. A considerable scuffling within ensued, but nothingelse. I therefore knocked again.
A small sharp-looking lad, half-footboy and half-clerk, who was verymuch out of breath, but who looked at me as if he defied me to prove itlegally, presented himself.
'Is Mr. Traddles within?' I said.
'Yes, sir, but he's engaged.'
'I want to see him.'
After a moment's survey of me, the sharp-looking lad decided to let mein; and opening the door wider for that purpose, admitted me, first,into a little closet of a hall, and next into a little sitting-room;where I came into the presence of my old friend (also out of breath),seated at a table, and bending over papers.
'Good God!' cried Traddles, looking up. 'It's Copperfield!' and rushedinto my arms, where I held him tight.
'All well, my dear Traddles?'
'All well, my dear, dear Copperfield, and nothing but good news!'
We cried with pleasure, both of us.
'My dear fellow,' said Traddles, rumpling his hair in his excitement,which was a most unnecessary operation, 'my dearest Copperfield, mylong-lost and most welcome friend, how glad I am to see you! Howbrown you are! How glad I am! Upon my life and honour, I never was sorejoiced, my beloved Copperfield, never!'
I was equally at a loss to express my emotions. I was quite unable tospeak, at first.
'My dear fellow!' said Traddles. 'And grown so famous! My gloriousCopperfield! Good gracious me, WHEN did you come, WHERE have you comefrom, WHAT have you been doing?'
Never pausing for an answer to anything he said, Traddles, who hadclapped me into an easy-chair by the fire, all this time impetuouslystirred the fire with one hand, and pulled at my neck-kerchief withthe other, under some wild delusion that it was a great-coat. Withoutputting down the poker, he now hugged me again; and I hugged him; and,both laughing, and both wiping our eyes, we both sat down, and shookhands across the hearth.
'To think,' said Traddles, 'that you should have been so nearly cominghome as you must have been, my dear old boy, and not at the ceremony!'
'What ceremony, my dear Traddles?'
'Good gracious me!' cried Traddles, opening his eyes in his old way.'Didn't you get my last letter?'
'Certainly not, if it referred to any ceremony.'
'Why, my dear Copperfield,' said Traddles, sticking his hair uprightwith both hands, and then putting his hands on my knees, 'I am married!'
'Married!' I cried joyfully.
'Lord bless me, yes!' said Traddles--'by the Reverend Horace--toSophy--down in Devonshire. Why, my dear boy, she's behind the windowcurtain! Look here!'
To my amazement, the dearest girl in the world came at that sameinstant, laughing and blushing, from her place of concealment. And amore cheerful, amiable, honest, happy, bright-looking bride, I believe(as I could not help saying on the spot) the world never saw. I kissedher as an old acquaintance should, and wished them joy with all my mightof heart.
'Dear me,' said Traddles, 'what a delightful re-union this is! You areso extremely brown, my dear Copperfield! God bless my soul, how happy Iam!'
'And so am I,' said I.
'And I am sure I am!' said the blushing and laughing Sophy.
'We are all as happy as possible!' said Traddles. 'Even the girls arehappy. Dear me, I declare I forgot them!'
'Forgot?' said I.
'The girls,' said Traddles. 'Sophy's sisters. They are staying with us.They have come to have a peep at London. The fact is, when--was it youthat tumbled upstairs, Copperfield?'
'It was,' said I, laughing.
'Well then, when you tumbled upstairs,' said Traddles, 'I was rompingwith the girls. In point of fact, we were playing at Puss in the Corner.But as that wouldn't do in Westminster Hall, and as it wouldn't lookquite professional if they were seen by a client, they decamped. Andthey are now--listening, I have no doubt,' said Traddles, glancing atthe door of another room.
'I am sorry,' said I, laughing afresh, 'to have occasioned such adispersion.'
'Upon my word,' rejoined Traddles, greatly delighted, 'if you had seenthem running away, and running back again, after you had knocked, topick up the combs they had dropped out of their hair, and going on inthe maddest manner, you wouldn't have said so. My love, will you fetchthe girls?'
Sophy tripped away, and we heard her received in the adjoining room witha peal of laughter.
'Really musical, isn't it, my dear Copperfield?' said Traddles. 'It'svery agreeable to hear. It quite lights up these old rooms. To anunfortunate bachelor of a fellow who has lived alone all his life, youknow, it's positively delicious. It's charming. Poor things, they havehad a great loss in Sophy--who, I do assure you, Copperfield is, andever was, the dearest girl!--and it gratifies me beyond expressionto find them in such good spirits. The society of girls is a verydelightful thing, Copperfield. It's not professional, but it's verydelightful.'
Observing that he slightly faltered, and comprehending that in thegoodness of his heart he was fearful of giving me some pain by what hehad said, I expressed my concurrence with a heartiness that evidentlyrelieved and pleased him greatly.
'But then,' said Traddles, 'our domestic arrangements are, to saythe truth, quite unprofessional altogether, my dear Copperfield. EvenSophy's being here, is unprofessional. And we have no other place ofabode. We have put to sea in a cockboat, but we are quite prepared torough it. And Sophy's an extraordinary manager! You'll be surprised howthose girls are stowed away. I am sure I hardly know how it's done!'
'Are many of the young ladies with you?' I inquired.
'The eldest, the Beauty is here,' said Traddles, in a low confidentialvoice, 'Caroline. And Sarah's here--the one I mentioned to you as havingsomething the matter with her spine, you know. Immensely better! And thetwo youngest that Sophy educated are with us. And Louisa's here.'
'Indeed!' cried I.
'Yes,' said Traddles. 'Now the whole set--I mean the chambers--is onlythree rooms; but Sophy arranges for the girls in the most wonderful way,and they sleep as comfortably as possible. Three in that room,' saidTraddles, pointing. 'Two in that.'
I could not help glancing round, in search of the accommodationremaining for Mr. and Mrs. Traddles. Traddles understood me.
'Well!' said Traddles, 'we are prepared to rough it, as I said just now,and we did improvise a bed last week, upon the floor here. But there'sa little room in the roof--a very nice room, when you're up there--whichSophy papered herself, to surprise me; and that's our room at present.It's a capital little gipsy sort of place. There's quite a view fromit.'
'And you are happily married at last, my dear Traddles!' said I. 'Howrejoiced I am!'
'Thank you, my dear Copperfield,' said Traddles, as we shook handsonce more. 'Yes, I am as happy as it's possible to be. There's your oldfriend, you see,' said Traddles, nodding triumphantly at the flower-potand stand; 'and there's the table with the marble top! All the otherfurniture is plain and serviceable, you perceive. And as to plate, Lordbless you, we haven't so much as a tea-spoon.'
'All to be earned?' said I, cheerfully.
'Exactly so,' replied Traddles, 'all to be earned. Of course we havesomething in the shape of tea-spoons, because we stir our tea. Butthey're Britannia metal.'
'The silver will be the brighter when it comes,' said I.
'The very thing we say!' cried Traddles. 'You see, my dear Copperfield,'falling again into the low confidential tone, 'after I had delivered myargument in DOE dem. JIPES versus WIGZIELL, which did me great servicewith the profession, I went down into Devonshire, and had some seriousconversation in private with the Reverend Horace. I dwelt upon the factthat Sophy--who I do assure you, Copperfield, is the dearest girl!--'
'I am certain she is!' said I.
'She is, indeed!' rejoined Traddles. 'But I am afraid I am wanderingfrom the subject. Did I mention the Reverend Horace?'
'You said that you dwelt upon the fact--'
'True! Upon the fact that Sophy and I had been engaged for a longperiod, and that Sophy, with the permission of her parents, was morethan content to take me--in short,' said Traddles, with his old franksmile, 'on our present Britannia-metal footing. Very well. I thenproposed to the Reverend Horace--who is a most excellent clergyman,Copperfield, and ought to be a Bishop; or at least ought to have enoughto live upon, without pinching himself--that if I could turn the corner,say of two hundred and fifty pounds, in one year; and could see myway pretty clearly to that, or something better, next year; and couldplainly furnish a little place like this, besides; then, and in thatcase, Sophy and I should be united. I took the liberty of representingthat we had been patient for a good many years; and that thecircumstance of Sophy's being extraordinarily useful at home, ought notto operate with her affectionate parents, against her establishment inlife--don't you see?'
'Certainly it ought not,' said I.
'I am glad you think so, Copperfield,' rejoined Traddles, 'because,without any imputation on the Reverend Horace, I do think parents, andbrothers, and so forth, are sometimes rather selfish in such cases.Well! I also pointed out, that my most earnest desire was, to be usefulto the family; and that if I got on in the world, and anything shouldhappen to him--I refer to the Reverend Horace--'
'I understand,' said I.
'--Or to Mrs. Crewler--it would be the utmost gratification of mywishes, to be a parent to the girls. He replied in a most admirablemanner, exceedingly flattering to my feelings, and undertook to obtainthe consent of Mrs. Crewler to this arrangement. They had a dreadfultime of it with her. It mounted from her legs into her chest, and theninto her head--'
'What mounted?' I asked.
'Her grief,' replied Traddles, with a serious look. 'Her feelingsgenerally. As I mentioned on a former occasion, she is a very superiorwoman, but has lost the use of her limbs. Whatever occurs to harassher, usually settles in her legs; but on this occasion it mounted to thechest, and then to the head, and, in short, pervaded the whole systemin a most alarming manner. However, they brought her through it byunremitting and affectionate attention; and we were married yesterdaysix weeks. You have no idea what a Monster I felt, Copperfield, when Isaw the whole family crying and fainting away in every direction! Mrs.Crewler couldn't see me before we left--couldn't forgive me, then, fordepriving her of her child--but she is a good creature, and has done sosince. I had a delightful letter from her, only this morning.'
'And in short, my dear friend,' said I, 'you feel as blest as youdeserve to feel!'
'Oh! That's your partiality!' laughed Traddles. 'But, indeed, I am in amost enviable state. I work hard, and read Law insatiably. I get up atfive every morning, and don't mind it at all. I hide the girls in thedaytime, and make merry with them in the evening. And I assure you I amquite sorry that they are going home on Tuesday, which is the day beforethe first day of Michaelmas Term. But here,' said Traddles, breaking offin his confidence, and speaking aloud, 'ARE the girls! Mr. Copperfield,Miss Crewler--Miss Sarah--Miss Louisa--Margaret and Lucy!'
They were a perfect nest of roses; they looked so wholesome and fresh.They were all pretty, and Miss Caroline was very handsome; but there wasa loving, cheerful, fireside quality in Sophy's bright looks, which wasbetter than that, and which assured me that my friend had chosen well.We all sat round the fire; while the sharp boy, who I now divined hadlost his breath in putting the papers out, cleared them away again, andproduced the tea-things. After that, he retired for the night, shuttingthe outer door upon us with a bang. Mrs. Traddles, with perfect pleasureand composure beaming from her household eyes, having made the tea, thenquietly made the toast as she sat in a corner by the fire.
She had seen Agnes, she told me while she was toasting. 'Tom' had takenher down into Kent for a wedding trip, and there she had seen my aunt,too; and both my aunt and Agnes were well, and they had all talked ofnothing but me. 'Tom' had never had me out of his thoughts, she reallybelieved, all the time I had been away. 'Tom' was the authority foreverything. 'Tom' was evidently the idol of her life; never to be shakenon his pedestal by any commotion; always to be believed in, and donehomage to with the whole faith of her heart, come what might.
The deference which both she and Traddles showed towards the Beauty,pleased me very much. I don't know that I thought it very reasonable;but I thought it very delightful, and essentially a part of theircharacter. If Traddles ever for an instant missed the tea-spoons thatwere still to be won, I have no doubt it was when he handed the Beautyher tea. If his sweet-tempered wife could have got up any self-assertionagainst anyone, I am satisfied it could only have been because she wasthe Beauty's sister. A few slight indications of a rather petted andcapricious manner, which I observed in the Beauty, were manifestlyconsidered, by Traddles and his wife, as her birthright and naturalendowment. If she had been born a Queen Bee, and they labouring Bees,they could not have been more satisfied of that.
But their self-forgetfulness charmed me. Their pride in these girls, andtheir submission of themselves to all their whims, was the pleasantestlittle testimony to their own worth I could have desired to see. IfTraddles were addressed as 'a darling', once in the course of thatevening; and besought to bring something here, or carry something there,or take something up, or put something down, or find something, or fetchsomething, he was so addressed, by one or other of his sisters-in-law,at least twelve times in an hour. Neither could they do anything withoutSophy. Somebody's hair fell down, and nobody but Sophy could put it up.Somebody forgot how a particular tune went, and nobody but Sophy couldhum that tune right. Somebody wanted to recall the name of a place inDevonshire, and only Sophy knew it. Something was wanted to be writtenhome, and Sophy alone could be trusted to write before breakfast inthe morning. Somebody broke down in a piece of knitting, and no one butSophy was able to put the defaulter in the right direction. They wereentire mistresses of the place, and Sophy and Traddles waited on them.How many children Sophy could have taken care of in her time, I can'timagine; but she seemed to be famous for knowing every sort of song thatever was addressed to a child in the English tongue; and she sang dozensto order with the clearest little voice in the world, one after another(every sister issuing directions for a different tune, and the Beautygenerally striking in last), so that I was quite fascinated. The bestof all was, that, in the midst of their exactions, all the sisters hada great tenderness and respect both for Sophy and Traddles. I am sure,when I took my leave, and Traddles was coming out to walk with me to thecoffee-house, I thought I had never seen an obstinate head of hair, orany other head of hair, rolling about in such a shower of kisses.
Altogether, it was a scene I could not help dwelling on with pleasure,for a long time after I got back and had wished Traddles good night. IfI had beheld a thousand roses blowing in a top set of chambers, in thatwithered Gray's Inn, they could not have brightened it half so much.The idea of those Devonshire girls, among the dry law-stationers and theattorneys' offices; and of the tea and toast, and children's songs, inthat grim atmosphere of pounce and parchment, red-tape, dusty wafers,ink-jars, brief and draft paper, law reports, writs, declarations, andbills of costs; seemed almost as pleasantly fanciful as if I haddreamed that the Sultan's famous family had been admitted on the roll ofattorneys, and had brought the talking bird, the singing tree, and thegolden water into Gray's Inn Hall. Somehow, I found that I had takenleave of Traddles for the night, and come back to the coffee-house, witha great change in my despondency about him. I began to think he wouldget on, in spite of all the many orders of chief waiters in England.
Drawing a chair before one of the coffee-room fires to think about himat my leisure, I gradually fell from the consideration of his happinessto tracing prospects in the live-coals, and to thinking, as they brokeand changed, of the principal vicissitudes and separations that hadmarked my life. I had not seen a coal fire, since I had left Englandthree years ago: though many a wood fire had I watched, as it crumbledinto hoary ashes, and mingled with the feathery heap upon the hearth,which not inaptly figured to me, in my despondency, my own dead hopes.
I could think of the past now, gravely, but not bitterly; and couldcontemplate the future in a brave spirit. Home, in its best sense, wasfor me no more. She in whom I might have inspired a dearer love, I hadtaught to be my sister. She would marry, and would have new claimants onher tenderness; and in doing it, would never know the love for her thathad grown up in my heart. It was right that I should pay the forfeit ofmy headlong passion. What I reaped, I had sown.
I was thinking. And had I truly disciplined my heart to this, and couldI resolutely bear it, and calmly hold the place in her home which shehad calmly held in mine,--when I found my eyes resting on a countenancethat might have arisen out of the fire, in its association with my earlyremembrances.
Little Mr. Chillip the Doctor, to whose good offices I was indebted inthe very first chapter of this history, sat reading a newspaper in theshadow of an opposite corner. He was tolerably stricken in years by thistime; but, being a mild, meek, calm little man, had worn so easily, thatI thought he looked at that moment just as he might have looked when hesat in our parlour, waiting for me to be born.
Mr. Chillip had left Blunderstone six or seven years ago, and I hadnever seen him since. He sat placidly perusing the newspaper, with hislittle head on one side, and a glass of warm sherry negus at hiselbow. He was so extremely conciliatory in his manner that he seemed toapologize to the very newspaper for taking the liberty of reading it.
I walked up to where he was sitting, and said, 'How do you do, Mr.Chillip?'
He was greatly fluttered by this unexpected address from a stranger, andreplied, in his slow way, 'I thank you, sir, you are very good. Thankyou, sir. I hope YOU are well.'
'You don't remember me?' said I.
'Well, sir,' returned Mr. Chillip, smiling very meekly, and shaking hishead as he surveyed me, 'I have a kind of an impression that somethingin your countenance is familiar to me, sir; but I couldn't lay my handupon your name, really.'
'And yet you knew it, long before I knew it myself,' I returned.
'Did I indeed, sir?' said Mr. Chillip. 'Is it possible that I had thehonour, sir, of officiating when--?'
'Yes,' said I.
'Dear me!' cried Mr. Chillip. 'But no doubt you are a good deal changedsince then, sir?'
'Probably,' said I.
'Well, sir,' observed Mr. Chillip, 'I hope you'll excuse me, if I amcompelled to ask the favour of your name?'
On my telling him my name, he was really moved. He quite shook handswith me--which was a violent proceeding for him, his usual course beingto slide a tepid little fish-slice, an inch or two in advance of hiship, and evince the greatest discomposure when anybody grappled withit. Even now, he put his hand in his coat-pocket as soon as he coulddisengage it, and seemed relieved when he had got it safe back.
'Dear me, sir!' said Mr. Chillip, surveying me with his head on oneside. 'And it's Mr. Copperfield, is it? Well, sir, I think I should haveknown you, if I had taken the liberty of looking more closely at you.There's a strong resemblance between you and your poor father, sir.'
'I never had the happiness of seeing my father,' I observed.
'Very true, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, in a soothing tone. 'And very muchto be deplored it was, on all accounts! We are not ignorant, sir,' saidMr. Chillip, slowly shaking his little head again, 'down in our part ofthe country, of your fame. There must be great excitement here, sir,'said Mr. Chillip, tapping himself on the forehead with his forefinger.'You must find it a trying occupation, sir!'
'What is your part of the country now?' I asked, seating myself nearhim.
'I am established within a few miles of Bury St. Edmund's, sir,' saidMr. Chillip. 'Mrs. Chillip, coming into a little property in thatneighbourhood, under her father's will, I bought a practice down there,in which you will be glad to hear I am doing well. My daughter isgrowing quite a tall lass now, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, giving his littlehead another little shake. 'Her mother let down two tucks in her frocksonly last week. Such is time, you see, sir!'
As the little man put his now empty glass to his lips, when he made thisreflection, I proposed to him to have it refilled, and I would keep himcompany with another. 'Well, sir,' he returned, in his slow way, 'it'smore than I am accustomed to; but I can't deny myself the pleasureof your conversation. It seems but yesterday that I had the honour ofattending you in the measles. You came through them charmingly, sir!'
I acknowledged this compliment, and ordered the negus, which was soonproduced. 'Quite an uncommon dissipation!' said Mr. Chillip, stirringit, 'but I can't resist so extraordinary an occasion. You have nofamily, sir?'
I shook my head.
'I was aware that you sustained a bereavement, sir, some time ago,' saidMr. Chillip. 'I heard it from your father-in-law's sister. Very decidedcharacter there, sir?'
'Why, yes,' said I, 'decided enough. Where did you see her, Mr.Chillip?'
'Are you not aware, sir,' returned Mr. Chillip, with his placidestsmile, 'that your father-in-law is again a neighbour of mine?'
'No,' said I.
'He is indeed, sir!' said Mr. Chillip. 'Married a young lady of thatpart, with a very good little property, poor thing.---And this actionof the brain now, sir? Don't you find it fatigue you?' said Mr. Chillip,looking at me like an admiring Robin.
I waived that question, and returned to the Murdstones. 'I was aware ofhis being married again. Do you attend the family?' I asked.
'Not regularly. I have been called in,' he replied. 'Strongphrenological developments of the organ of firmness, in Mr. Murdstoneand his sister, sir.'
I replied with such an expressive look, that Mr. Chillip was emboldenedby that, and the negus together, to give his head several short shakes,and thoughtfully exclaim, 'Ah, dear me! We remember old times, Mr.Copperfield!'
'And the brother and sister are pursuing their old course, are they?'said I.
'Well, sir,' replied Mr. Chillip, 'a medical man, being so much infamilies, ought to have neither eyes nor ears for anything but hisprofession. Still, I must say, they are very severe, sir: both as tothis life and the next.'
'The next will be regulated without much reference to them, I dare say,'I returned: 'what are they doing as to this?'
Mr. Chillip shook his head, stirred his negus, and sipped it.
'She was a charming woman, sir!' he observed in a plaintive manner.
'The present Mrs. Murdstone?'
A charming woman indeed, sir,' said Mr. Chillip; 'as amiable, I am sure,as it was possible to be! Mrs. Chillip's opinion is, that her spirithas been entirely broken since her marriage, and that she is all butmelancholy mad. And the ladies,' observed Mr. Chillip, timorously, 'aregreat observers, sir.'
'I suppose she was to be subdued and broken to their detestable mould,Heaven help her!' said I. 'And she has been.'
'Well, sir, there were violent quarrels at first, I assure you,' saidMr. Chillip; 'but she is quite a shadow now. Would it be consideredforward if I was to say to you, sir, in confidence, that since thesister came to help, the brother and sister between them have nearlyreduced her to a state of imbecility?'
I told him I could easily believe it.
'I have no hesitation in saying,' said Mr. Chillip, fortifying himselfwith another sip of negus, 'between you and me, sir, that her motherdied of it--or that tyranny, gloom, and worry have made Mrs. Murdstonenearly imbecile. She was a lively young woman, sir, before marriage, andtheir gloom and austerity destroyed her. They go about with her, now,more like her keepers than her husband and sister-in-law. That wasMrs. Chillip's remark to me, only last week. And I assure you, sir, theladies are great observers. Mrs. Chillip herself is a great observer!'
'Does he gloomily profess to be (I am ashamed to use the word in suchassociation) religious still?' I inquired.
'You anticipate, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, his eyelids getting quitered with the unwonted stimulus in which he was indulging. 'One of Mrs.Chillip's most impressive remarks. Mrs. Chillip,' he proceeded, in thecalmest and slowest manner, 'quite electrified me, by pointing outthat Mr. Murdstone sets up an image of himself, and calls it the DivineNature. You might have knocked me down on the flat of my back, sir,with the feather of a pen, I assure you, when Mrs. Chillip said so. Theladies are great observers, sir?'
'Intuitively,' said I, to his extreme delight.
'I am very happy to receive such support in my opinion, sir,' herejoined. 'It is not often that I venture to give a non-medical opinion,I assure you. Mr. Murdstone delivers public addresses sometimes, and itis said,--in short, sir, it is said by Mrs. Chillip,--that the darkertyrant he has lately been, the more ferocious is his doctrine.'
'I believe Mrs. Chillip to be perfectly right,' said I.
'Mrs. Chillip does go so far as to say,' pursued the meekest of littlemen, much encouraged, 'that what such people miscall their religion, isa vent for their bad humours and arrogance. And do you know I must say,sir,' he continued, mildly laying his head on one side, 'that I DON'Tfind authority for Mr. and Miss Murdstone in the New Testament?'
'I never found it either!' said I.
'In the meantime, sir,' said Mr. Chillip, 'they are much disliked;and as they are very free in consigning everybody who dislikes themto perdition, we really have a good deal of perdition going on inour neighbourhood! However, as Mrs. Chillip says, sir, they undergo acontinual punishment; for they are turned inward, to feed upon their ownhearts, and their own hearts are very bad feeding. Now, sir, about thatbrain of yours, if you'll excuse my returning to it. Don't you expose itto a good deal of excitement, sir?'
I found it not difficult, in the excitement of Mr. Chillip's own brain,under his potations of negus, to divert his attention from this topicto his own affairs, on which, for the next half-hour, he was quiteloquacious; giving me to understand, among other pieces of information,that he was then at the Gray's Inn Coffee-house to lay his professionalevidence before a Commission of Lunacy, touching the state of mind of apatient who had become deranged from excessive drinking. 'And I assureyou, sir,' he said, 'I am extremely nervous on such occasions. I couldnot support being what is called Bullied, sir. It would quite unmanme. Do you know it was some time before I recovered the conduct of thatalarming lady, on the night of your birth, Mr. Copperfield?'
I told him that I was going down to my aunt, the Dragon of that night,early in the morning; and that she was one of the most tender-heartedand excellent of women, as he would know full well if he knew herbetter. The mere notion of the possibility of his ever seeing her again,appeared to terrify him. He replied with a small pale smile, 'Is she so,indeed, sir? Really?' and almost immediately called for a candle, andwent to bed, as if he were not quite safe anywhere else. He did notactually stagger under the negus; but I should think his placid littlepulse must have made two or three more beats in a minute, than it haddone since the great night of my aunt's disappointment, when she struckat him with her bonnet.
Thoroughly tired, I went to bed too, at midnight; passed the next day onthe Dover coach; burst safe and sound into my aunt's old parlour whileshe was at tea (she wore spectacles now); and was received by her, andMr. Dick, and dear old Peggotty, who acted as housekeeper, with openarms and tears of joy. My aunt was mightily amused, when we began totalk composedly, by my account of my meeting with Mr. Chillip, and ofhis holding her in such dread remembrance; and both she and Peggottyhad a great deal to say about my poor mother's second husband, and 'thatmurdering woman of a sister',--on whom I think no pain or penalty wouldhave induced my aunt to bestow any Christian or Proper Name, or anyother designation.