夏济安的译笔还是好的

“时方晚秋,气象肃穆,略带忧郁,早晨的阴影和黄昏的阴影,几乎连接在一起,不可分别。岁将云暮,终日昏暗,我就在这么一天,到西敏大寺去散步了几个钟头。古寺巍巍,森森然似有鬼气,和阴沉的季候正好调和;我跨进大厅,觉得自己已经置身远古,相忘於古人的鬼影之中了。”(“On one of those sober and rather melancholy days, in the latter part of Autumn, when the shadows of morning and evening almost mingle together, and throw a gloom over the decline of the year, I passed several hours in rambling about Westminster Abbey. There was something congenial to the season in the mournful magnificence of the old pile; and, as I passed its threshold, seemed like stepping back into the regions of antiquity, and losing myself among the shades of former ages.”)这是夏济安先生译的美国作家华盛顿·欧文《西敏大寺》的第一段译文。十几年前我写过文章称讚夏先生的译笔令人叹服。事隔数年,内地有人细细核对原文,说是夏先生的中译还是略有瑕疵,写文章怪我过份捧夏。我相信夏先生为了迁就译文流畅力求文采,有些小地方落笔太浓,描之惟恐不足。我也相信夏先生跟所有从事翻译工作的人一样,偶然会错解原文的意思,无心而失手。做过十数年或数十年翻译工作的人都深知此中甘苦,珠玉纷陈之中不忍心在小处挑剔了。

西方有人说翻译家都是叛徒。那也许是真的:不是背叛自己的母语,就是背叛原文的外语。诵读夏先生的中译,我只觉得他的中文实在上佳;他尽力让中文跟着英文走而不流失中文的韵致,这样的努力不禁教人感动,值得后进学习。当然,文章不厌多改;改得好,识者称善;改坏了,自己难堪。夏先生译霍桑的《古屋杂忆》有这样一段译文;“远处树荫中间,金光依旧照着大地,可是灿烂之中含着一点愁思。花开到八月正是最华丽的时候,可是即使是最艳最丽的花,浓装艳抹之下,也掩盖不了一种淡淡的轻愁;每一朵都象徵着夏尽秋来这个微妙的季候。半边莲可说是光华夺目了,但是我从来不觉得它是代表欢乐的。”(“A pensive glory is seen in the far golden gleams; among the shadows of the trees. The flowers - even the brightest of them, and they are the most gorgeous of the year ﹣ have this gentle sadness wedded to their pomp, and typify the character of the delicious time each within itself. The brilliant cardinal flower has never seemed gay to me.”)第一句当无问题;我细心推敲接下来的几句,想到或许可以再省些字,弄得更像霍桑:“远处树荫中间金光依旧,可是灿烂之中竟含着一点秋思。花到八月最华丽,却也难掩轻愁,一一泄露夏尽秋来的妙造。半边莲自是光华夺目,我却从来未见其生趣。”三十六页数万小字的全文,夏先生已经做得太辛苦、太精细了,我不忍心多事洗刷磨砻。