夏志清的《张爱玲给我的信件》已经在《联合文学》上连载了四期，还没有完。每一封信几乎都有夏先生的按语，写得既真挚又有史料价值。《联文》所配的插图有不少是夏先生提供的信件影印本，张爱玲的笔迹很清爽，夏先生的字和写信的格式则数十年不变，字小而秀丽，夹杂着几个英文单字或句子，很好看。我的文件柜子里珍藏一批夏先生写给我的信，有的长，有的短，却都很有味道。夏先生是一位很会写信的学者，这套“艺术”慢慢失传了。

一九六八年夏天，夏先生正在校阅张爱玲自己翻译的《金锁记》，在一封给张爱玲的信上引录了五处原文和译文同她商榷。他在按语里说：张爱玲是他的平辈，出过三本英文小说，实在不敢擅自改动她的译稿。这五处译文，第四和第五处最有意思，值得推敲。第四处原文说：“两人并排在公园里走，很少说话，眼角里带着一点对方的衣服与移动着的脚，女人的粉香，男子的淡巴菰气，这单纯而可爱的印象便是他们身边的阑干，阑干把他们与众人隔开了。”张爱玲这样译：

The two of them walked side by side in the park in the autumn sun talking very little,each with a bit of the other's clothes and moving feet at the corner of the eyes and the fragrance of women's face powder and men's tobacco smell,this simple and lovely impression forming the railings alongside that separated them from the crowd.

夏先生在信上问张爱玲粉香和烟味是公园其他游人身上发出来的，还是他们各自身上发出来的？前者张爱玲答一个No，后者答Yes。夏先生问她“单纯而可爱的印象”只指粉香和烟味，还是“衣服与移动着的脚”也包括在内？前者她答No，后者答Yes。夏先生结果还是重译了这一段，删去“这单纯而可爱的印象”不译，认为“比较软弱而带有新文艺腔”。夏先生译文果然更见顺当：

The two of them walked side by side in the park in the autumn sun，talking verylittle， each content with a partial view of the others clothes and moving feet. The fragrance of her face powder and his tobacco smell served as invisible railings that separated them from the crowd.

第四处原文说到世舫、长安在公园散步遇雨：“隔着半透明的蓝绸伞，千万粒雨珠闪着光，像一天的星。一天的星到处跟着他们，在水珠银烂的车窗上，汽车驰过了红灯、绿灯，窗子外营营飞着一窠红的星，又是一窠绿的星。”这句完全见出张爱玲中文的功力，夏先生说“文字特别美，译文也美”：

Through the translucent blue silk umbrella myriad raindrops twinkled like a skyful of stars that followed them about everywhere，and later on the taxi s glistening window of crushed silver and as the car ran through red and green lights，a nestful of red stars flew humming outside the window and a nestful of green stars.

夏先生后来只改了三处：第一个字through改为upon；everywhere和and不要；flew改为would fly。金子於是更亮丽了。